HOW TO BONK A ZOMBIE by J. D. Crayne

Description

A #1 Horror bestseller! It is nearly Christmas and the zombie apocalypse is right around the corner. Young and pretty Julia Hobart, an unemployed screenwriter, goes to a leather bar for a drink with her two housemates—Vinnie, a part-time actress and full-time bimbo, and Nate, an unsuccessful novelist—when they're suddenly caught in the middle of a riot as the bar is invaded by a horde of murderous zombies in drag.

Barely escaping with their lives, they go to a local mall to calm their nerves, and find themselves in the middle of a no-holds-barred battle between a zombie Santa, his undead elves, and hundreds of hysterical Christmas shoppers. They finally escape, go home, and discover that Vinnie has accidentally put four large sacks of high-grade marijuana, brought home by Julia's handsome brother Jason, into a charity drop-off box.

The dope belongs to big-time pot grower Juan Loco, who is going to wipe out Jason unless he can come up with the stash or the cash. Loco's hired guns force Jason to take them to the drop-off box—and while they're gone, another group of mayhem-minded zombies shows up and attacks the house, nearly killing Julia and her friends.

It's obvious that the zombies are working up to an attack on Los Angeles that will destroy the city—or make it vote Republican. From the Glendale Galleria to historic Griffith Park and the Los Angeles Coliseum, with takeout pizza and cherry soda, the heroes of this fast-paced, zany look at the undead are only one step ahead of being murdered, torn into bloody bits or—even worse—turned into members of the zombie invasion themselves.

Meanwhile they have to answer the age-old question that every woman asks: How do you bonk a zombie without all of the bits falling off?

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Categories Horror , H - Novels , Paperbacks
Author Page J. D. Crayne's Futures Past Editions eBooks