THE LAND OF BIG BLUE APPLES by Don Wilcox

Description

A Wacky Science Fantasy Classic!

If you love off the-wall, guaranteed loony sf, then you'll love the writer the 1940s hailed as Don "the madman" Wilcox. According to sf/f/h author, anthologist and critic Lin Carter, Wilcox's writing can best be summed up as "Adult fairy tales!"

When Joe Banker falls for Donna Londeen, the university's new cheerleader, he thinks she's out of this world! When Joe accidentally knocks off Donna's perennial hat, he sees he's right. Donna has horns!

Donna flees, and Joe follows her to a concealed spaceship. When he runs into his crusty, corncob puffing Uncle Keller, the two end up trapped in the spaceship just as it takes off. Soon they are on the craziest planet ever conceived, where the apples grow big and blue, and the people have horns for catching them as they fall from trees. Joe quickly discovers that he isn't the only suitor for Donna's hand, and that the locals also use their horns for other things—like fighting!

To win Donna's heart, Joe will have to beat his rival in their planet's traditional contest: whoever most cruelly beats the relative he loves most wins! And Joe only has one relative at hand! Meanwhile, Uncle Keller has made some discoveries of his own, such as the fact that the "naggie wool" from which the locals spin their garments makes an excellent substitute for tobacco. Then Joe and his naggie-wool-smoking Uncle discover poachers from another star have landed and are beginning to capture and kill the locals for their horns!

As right-thinking American males, there is only one thing they can do: take on the poachers and destroy them and their ship. If they survive, Joe will have to torture his beloved uncle—that is, if Joe survives the violent case of naggie-madness he has just contracted from eating one of the big blue apples that has gone bad!

Long before Donna says, "The Earth Man is good to look at," you will be laughing yourself sick. Zany situations, off-beat puns, daffy characters, no wonder sf/f/h author, anthologist Terry Carr pleaded, "Give us more Wilcox, please!"

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Categories Science Fiction , SF - Novels , Free Books
Author Page Don Wilcox's Futures Past Editions eBooks